Working On A Lawsuit T-Shirts

'#4857832. That's your client number. Please try to remember it as it's what identifies you as a person to us.'

Trial by Media

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'What'll it be?'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Sue The Bastards

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'It's a treasure map.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

My client is claiming that you have discriminated against him as a species, that your refusal to let him sniff client's bottoms is against his canine rights and that your policies have acted against him reaching partnership.

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

'This is your lucky day!'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

When he was between Executive Assistants, filing became a challenge for Jonathan.

'Overruled, you may continue.'