Workforce Woebegone Pillows

'Run! 73 million baby boomers are about to retire!'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Counting part time employees is the new math.

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

With the office space available, we have no choice but to believe in teamwork!

'They'll tell you this is an open office workspace, but watch out for the invisible fences.'

This castle manager job better be for real.

You're fortunate you have a cubicle. Due to cutbacks, my boss makes us wear horse blinders.

'Thank you - but I prefer to stand.'

"Did I say 'corner office'? I meant 'corner of my office'."

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

"I miss the old cubicles."

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

I got the raise

'I typed it that way because I thought that punctuation would just slow it down.'

"Don't invade his space."

"Remember unpaid interns are a renewable resource."

"When the company said we'd now be sharing cubicle space this wasn't what I expected!"

'So, Bixbey! Caught you at trying out my desk again, have I?'

'As you know, this is a Right-To-Work-Cheap-OR-we-send-your-job-to-Asia-state...'