Workaholic-turned-lounger Gifts

'He's only been retired a week, but little by little Durwood is learning to relax...'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Workaholic's Hoilday Appartment

"Don't open me, you fool!"

Call Your Office

"I have had three work-related heart attacks, witch shows you that I care about my job."

Happy Brithday

Vacation Mobile

'This new 4570mhz system with super high-speed dsl internet connection will allow you to work 50% harder and I'll be able to keep in touch with you from my yacht.'

Business Vacation.

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

Tycoon on beach listens to "office sounds" on CD player

"We have a clear work/life policy. . . If you have a life, you get more work."

'My life is around here somewhere.'

"I don't think I'll go in today. I just dreamed a whole day's work, including lunch."

"You've been so productive lately, I've decided to lay the entire staff off so you can do their work as well."

He's back from retirement as a consultant.

MR. CRENSHAW, TIME FOR OUR TELECONFERENCE

"It's so great to be totally away from work that I'm going to move this vacation from the liability column over to assets."

"We had hoped the staff lounge would inspire more productivity."

'Get a half-life Mrs Curie.'

Chillaxing!

'You must be mistaken. I don't get ulcers. I give them!'

'His is a working breed.'

A Real Working Vacation.

"A good employee never stops learning new skills."

'What are you grinning at? It's only 5.30.'

'From now on, anyone not found at their desk will be sacked on the spot.'

'I'm stuck in this job!'

'Don't worry about me, doctor - it's everyone else's candle I'm burning at both ends.'

'Don't feel bad about taking hilidays, we all need time away from the job. Just make sure you're back before lunch.'

"The boss is on a working vacation and we're on a nonworking vacation."

'I'll be under house arrest for a few days, but I'll still be checking my emails.'

"The sudden resignation caught many by surprise. 'I wish to spend more time with my family,' he said. When contacted, his family replied, 'Who?'"

'Sorry - just let me close this deal - then I'm all yours!'