Wordsmiths With A Religious Twist Pillows

'Referring to God as 'she' seems to offend all the right people.'

Campaign for Plain English

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

Ruddy bloggers!

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

'He was a great writer'

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

Jorge Luis Borges

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"Swing me with your words."

"Caption contest"

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"I like to use new Bible words. Let's beseech Mom for cookies."

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

Weapens of Mass Instruction

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

Dear Author: We really are tickled by your persistence. Sincerely, The Editors.

Books vs mobile phones

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

"I love you, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, but I'm through getting slippers for someone who hasn't published anything since 1997."

Collected works

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."