Wordsmiths Pillows

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Collected works

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

"This is for anyone on the panel- how can I be up there instead of down here?"

'He was a great writer'

'The good news is, you write what you know. Unfortunately, you don't know much.'

'Billy, I'm not going to argue the semantics of biting. Whether or not you penetrated the skin, I'm calling your mother.'

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

Pedants enter PIN.

"What do you mean, my pen name can't be 'J. K. Rowling'?"

Egyptian grammar

"I don't think you can accuse another author of plaguerising you for using the same words when they were in a different order."

"Sharp pencils, clean paper, good light, comfortable chair, hot coffee, warm room... ready to work... perhaps the room is too warm..."

'He's been in here all day looking for trouble.'

'You'll never make it as a freelancer in this business. You're not my nephew.'

Campaign for Plain English

'I want my ideas called 'concepts' not 'notions'.'

"I feel your writing style is a bit old-school."

'When did 'dude' become an adverb and an adjective?'

'What is tact?' 'The unsaid part of what you think.'

"I'll recommend your book if you recommend mine."

Pen mightier than sword.

"'Massive power outage' will freak people out. How about, 'We're rebooting the entire East Coast'?"

'We need to strike the right tone between asking and desperately pleading in our alumni solicitation letters.'

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

'Your book won't sell unless we can reduce it to a soundbite, Mr. Darwin. In the publishing world it's survival of the fittest.'

'Writer's block' is not an adequate excuse for delaying sending in you return.

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

"Who'th idea wath it to thpell lithp with an eth?"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'By the way, there is no 'Z' in resume.'

P.R. Hell: Abandon all hype, ye who enter here.

'I don't like to be called a 'senior citizen'. I prefer the term 'mature playmate''

"Nah, his staying in all day has nothing to do with that virus. My Dad's a writer, He's been in self-quarantine since 2003."

Victim of your own writings.