Wordsmiths Engaged In Dusting Pillows

"Writing a book is a great way to clean the house."

Campaign for Plain English

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'There it is, 'Twerk', right next to 'Twerp'.'

Ruddy bloggers!

'He was a great writer'

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"O.K., she's sitting fown to write in three...two....one...."

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

Jorge Luis Borges

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'Not now, dear, I'm trying to listen to the Muse.'

'Ed is a man of few words. And few letters.'

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

"Caption contest"

Bee to bee: 'We used buzzwords before they were trendy.'

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"I love you, I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, but I'm through getting slippers for someone who hasn't published anything since 1997."

"My creative writing professor suggested that I write about what I know...from my own experience!"

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

Weapens of Mass Instruction

Snail: 'Do you mean to tell me I'm not a credible author?!'

Collected works

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'I want my ideas called 'concepts' not 'notions'.'

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

"No wonder you can't write, you're not plugged in!"

"My essay is titled Essay: Educational Tool or Tired Cliche?"

'Oh-oh -- I think I've invented writer's block!'

Book editor tells Jesus legal says he can't use title 'Greatest Story Ever Told'.