Wordsmith In Training T-Shirts

"Audacity, noun. Unrestrained impudence. Impudence... Impudence... Impudent, adjective. Marked by impertinent disrespect. Impertinent... Impertinent..."

'He's a man of few works. He likes to talk, he just has a limited vocabulary.'

'Where's the spell checker on a pencil?'

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

"My essay is titled Essay: Educational Tool or Tired Cliche?"

AMBITIONS .... TO LEARN TO READ

"I picked the wrong year to start journaling."

"It's a brovella about my life in the frat. But if it's longer than two hundred pages it becomes a brahvel."

'I really need to become a great poet while I still have time before I graduate.'

"I know the alphabet. I just don't know how to work it."

"500 words is a whole lot longer when you have to write the whole word out."

"That outfit is a nasty mix of stripes and patterns."

"For her birthday, we'll get her clothes and a dictionary... I've seen her social media posts."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Meet The Author"

Edgar Allen Poe

"Do me next."

"She's been so creative lately."

First Novels.

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Reading my Critics

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'