Word Processing Prints

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"What do I do - I'm a mouse pilot, like everybody else."

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

'Hunt and gather? No, but I can hunt and peck 75 words per minute.'

Jesus Saves

Miss Webster, we're discussing your word processing not your grammar!

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

I will study my speling words...

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

The Family Joules: Part 21

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"It's a play on words."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Soldier armed with a pen.

The Proust of Twitter

Ninedency: A budding tendency

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'I swear by my spell checker. I have a mental block for spelling. Even 'Hooqued on Foniks' didn't help.'

Man sees door to Thesaurus company that has sign posted: 'Absent Ingesting Comestibles'.

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."