Woof Epicure Gifts

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

No Soliciting

Dogs

To do before Saturday...

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

A Dog's Food Pyramid.

If a dog barks in the forest, and no one hears him, does he make a sound?

'No, and I mean it! We just went for a walk an hour ago.'

'I heard him mention your name, what does neutered, mean?'

"I see a couch."

"He's sending an instant message."

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

Collective unconscious.

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'Frank, it's water.'

"Makes you feel kind of proud, doesn't it?"

Dog Dictionary: ARF bow-wow woof.

"I'd like to help him, but honestly I have no idea who the good boy is."

"Tales of the Bungee Leash"

"I ain't particular, but are you sure a '71 claret is the right choice for these here beans?"

"We're good herding dogs, but that drone can't be good for job security."

'If dogs named themselves...'

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

Beware of Dogs

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

Attention Dog Owners. Attention Dogs.

"We've decided to adopt a dog since we can't have one on our own."

"It's for what?! I thought it was a bark amplifier!

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"You understand about ten of my words, but I understand NONE of your barks."

"They said my barking was becoming inflammatory."