Womb Whisperer Gifts

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

The Worm Charmer

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Mother Nature

"He's such a fussy eater."

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

'I'm not too sure about that.'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'