Witty Sanitizer Pillows

Now sanitize the lamp and yell your wishes.

Noise Pollution

Flu vaccine.

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'Ms. Hatton, take a letter, a number and a hike...'

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

Soap Versus Coronavirus

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

'I'll have the steak.' (Fish in tank start jumping for joy).

In 1682 in a remote cave in the Ural Mountains, Heinrick Glaston discovers irony.

Wearing Gloves on Public Transport

Covid Vaccine

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

'You really need to start watching what you eat, make sure your meals are balanced, and try to resist weighting yourself every day...'

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

"I'm not taking any chances!"

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

One Way/Two Ways.

'This hospital certainly takes cleanliness seriously.'

Mechanics price list.

"I like to carry a lot of hand sanitizer. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see my chiropractor."

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

Recycle your problems. Many of our neuroses, hang-ups and character defects can be re-used by others.

'I thought you said you were only collecting fortnightly from now on.'

"I'd like something profound, witty, and outrageously irreverent."

"So what? Germs are also invisible!"

"What have you been up to lately?"

"You know, I kinda like having clean hands - makes a change."

"Mom, when will I be old enough to contain alcohol?"

A Women Out For A Walk With Her Children.

'I have nothing to declare but my genius!'

The dark side of hand santizer

'Would you like a drink with your meal?' - 'Yes, I'd like a glass of water, please.' - 'Still or sparkling?' - 'Tap.' - 'Cheapskate.' - 'Bite me.'