Witty Remark Collectors T-Shirts

'I've been lucky with men - I haven't met any yet...'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

The Snarky District

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"Touché"

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

"He painted 300 pictures in his lifetime. 1000 of which are in England."

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'I don't care how smart you think you are, you're still a bird brain.'

"As I thought...the carefree extravagant days are over. There's no marble foyer."

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

"Fire, bad. Smoke, good... quite the conundrum."

Now that we've invented language, we have to be careful not to get quoted out of context.

Jeffrey N.: The Guy who managed to get the lead out of his pants, but they were still the wrong pants.

"It's the best thing since bread torn into little pieces."

"Lucky you. Cliches are 10% off today."

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

Neither Here nor There

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

I was like, Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown! Them my physical therapist was like, Well, don't wear the crown to bed! And now my head feels much better.

'We don't hear 'giddyap' much anymore.'

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Doctor scared by apples,

Mayan 2012

If you want everybody to know something: Censor it.

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

"You're right. It does look better around your neck."

Kebab doner card

'God wants to see you.'

Has No Weevil, Sees no Weevil, Eats a Weevil.