Witty Negotiator Pillows

"I'll listen for a dollar."

'This is your list for Santa?? A corvette? A 50' TV?. . . If you don't become an ambulance chasing lawyer. . . you've missed your calling.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Crow and fox

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Jokes machine.

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

The Algonquin Round Table

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

"So, what is your star sign?"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

Bat out of Hell

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"Try the fish. It's brain food"

'My favorite position? Chairperson of the Board.'