Witty Marketer T-Shirts

"I like it, but the women will never wear it."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"That's our new church mascot."

'Oh, and one more thing

Floss Street Vendor

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

Cold caller.

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

A building covered in signs reading 'boats'.

Sun Dried Ice Cubes

Doomsday marketing

'...hmm ...I predict an upturn in profits this year.'

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"Actually the salary isn't important. . . I just need a desk to rest my feet on."

'The Dorvil people feel that the merger was a mistake. They want out, they want half the company's assets and they want child support.'

'I'm worried that my crippling anxiety is going to shorten my life.'

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

Build a better mousetrap and the IRS will beat a path to your door.

"Childbirth just isn't keeping pace with modern marketing. We still don't come with a manufacturing warranty.

"My Dad told me not to make the same mistakes he did. That doesn't leave much left!"

'Ignore him - philosophers will do anything to attract attention.'

Man in puzzle shop looks at staff picks which are individual puzzle pieces.

"Mr. Berkowitz, I and my Jewish career counselor, hereby wish you a mazel tov on your birthday."

'I should warn you - all our 'non-loaded' funds are alcohol free.'

"See? You don't need fancy window displays to attract attention...just get some police tape!"

Free Hamster, "That's novel, getting a free hamster with every meal."