Witty Kitchen Artist Gifts

Silly Seasoning

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Wok. Don't Wok.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"I love these old decorations!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

You're the icing on my cupcake!

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'How do you stop a fish from smelling?'

Amy Sedaris

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

Avocado Timeline

The secret lives of household things.

'He's all eyes!'

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

'Well, ex-CU-U-Use ME!'

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

Decaying corpse

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."