Witty Imagery Aficionado Pillows

'You've been here for less than five minutes and you already know all there is to know about me and this place...'

"She's been so creative lately."

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"Whose the new guy?"

"I love this time of year."

'Huh, that Will Shakespeare, a man of few words.'

A lesson in wit

"You folks ready to order?"

Pennybags Monster

'Life is like a box of chocolate laxatives!' - Forest Grump

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll be sober, and you'll still be a giraffe!'

"This one's called 'unpaid electric bills'."

'To summarize: the visual joke brings on a very fast reaction, but the verbal joke is remembered longer.'

"At work, they call me benchmark."

"I can't get no disinfection."

Covid-19 Mask Fashions

'Admit it - you've never liked my imaginary friends.'

"I thought I knew evil, but you have to hand it to these advertising guys."

"You're definitely going to need an extraction."

Your honor, would you please instruct the witness to stop texting on his cell phone during my cross-examination? I would, but I'm the person he's texting.

'Of course you can stay the night-what d'you fancy-on top or underneath?'

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

"Thinking outside the box? You bet I am!"

Giant Snowman Robot

NASA discovers Ultima Tule, an object the farthest stretch from truth in the universe

"Don't mind him, he's just my pet peeve."

"Our staff communications protocols demand that we translate this mumbo-jumbo into gobbledygook."

"Well, I've heard of a shark attack before. But I've never seen a clown fish attack."

'You've had enough to drink when you feel sophisticated and can't pronounce it.'

'Is that Nat with a G?'

"I call this one 'Nude portrait of A Girl - Without a Girl.'

Giant Cat in the Sky

Man at Image Inc: 'I've been typecast as a fat, bald white guy- what can you do for me?'

"How about I give you a black eye?"

"Keep digging! You're no longer part of the warrior culture."