Witty Gifts Gifts

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"Captain, we've taken on strippers."

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'The worst thing about it is I'm claustrophobic.'

Solitaire card shark.

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

Bagel problems.

House Broken.

'I handed over my company to my son and he's doing better than I ever did. Unfortunately he's starting school next year...'

Sudoku toilet paper

'I've got one of those wobbly forwards trolleys!'

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'My graduation gown got lost at the cleaners. Think anyone will notice this Snuggie?'

'This milk smells funny.'

'Re-gifting has become socially acceptable, dear, but re-carding is going a little too far.'

"I hope you've come home with something for your wind."

'He must be the real Santa... He was the only sober guy at the Xmas party!'

"How much of a gratuity does Santa usually get?"

Christmas postie!

A.I. Newreader Malfunctions. . . or does it?

'Keep in mind I'm beautiful on the inside.'

'I should have told you about the side effects. Anyway, I think it looks really good small.'

Man with an umbrella hat looks at man with a hat umbrella.

"Mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse."

"We don't need proof of each delivery."

I think the best part was when we decided not to record it.

'I just feel so much better buying the free range Pinatas.'

"Good Grief! He thinks he is Santa Claus!"

Doctor.

"It's a HO.. HO.. HOLD-UP!"

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

'I've always been a bit of a ladies' man.'

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"