Witty Banter Addict T-Shirts

'Doctor how can I avoid falling hair?'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'A cheeky red?'

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Touché"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"I'll have a man overboard!"

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

"I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure."

The Gilmore Girls

You look lovely tonight. It's a good think the coat-check girl let me check my thought balloons. !!

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Heart To Heart

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

A lesson in wit

Good cholesterol cop, bad cholesterol cop. Rice cake? Eat the donut punk.

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

Cold caller.

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."