Wit And Sarcasm Lovers Gifts

'I'll say one thing, Wilson - you certainly know how to dress down,'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

"I love these old decorations!"

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Exit Next Left

Gary misread the new policy on 'Free Thinking' in the work place.

Have you got your make up on yet?

'It's new from British Telecom...a telephone ignoring machine.'

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"Great coffee, Carole."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."