Lovers Of Sarcasm Gifts

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

'Why should I care that you think I'm heartless?'

'The way I see it... we call for a reverse split... and then, we split.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

The Snarky District

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

'My firm has an entire department that does nothing but adjust for inflation.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"I love these old decorations!"