Sarcasm Admirers Gifts

Blah, blah, blah

So, your place...or my mother's?

Nature also abhors a vacuum salesman.

"Nice cat, mister. You must really love him a lot!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Let's consider an early dive."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

The Snarky District

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

'Someday TVs will be in big boxes on the floor.'

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Czarcasm

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"