Wisecracking Worrier T-Shirts

"Trust me: It's benign."

A Hole in the Dike

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

I.T. Fear

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

'Being a nobody isn't so bad...You don't have to worry about becoming a has-been.'

Things that go beep in the night.

Separation Anxiety

I think I have a gilt complex.

'Ten things you should be worried about.'

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

No Action Comics

'If all the red warning lights come on, it means meltdown, so get out of the car fast!'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"Do you have money or is it money that has you?"

Eye of needle fat cat size That'll do nicely.

"Right. Money isn't everything - what's the other thing again?"

'Man! With its ever-rising value, you have enough gold in your mouth to ensure a great retirement...of course without teeth!

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Very sad piggy bank

'I can't relax _ I'm worrying about your watch being five minutes slow !'

'Someday, son, all this will be divided among your ex-wives.'

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

We know your e-mail address!

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

'If you don't stop worrying...you're going to die.'

Golden handshake old redundancy port.