Winter Weather Dodger Pillows

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

Waking Up With Rooster.

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

'Let's talk climate change.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

"I did it Dad! I ran all the way home and beat the rain!"

Desert island survivor won't go home to Canada

'I mean, how totally lame is this? Just as the marketing for our new video game was about to go viral, the Center for Disease Control shut us down!'

'They are worried about the economy.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

Dreaming of Summer.

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"Accursed global warming!"

'Looks like rain. I'm finishing for the day!'

"Must...not gaze into...his eye! For I may...never break free!"

'Oh hey Dan, remember how I said we were gonna go camping this week? Well then it started to rain, and I noticed your empty garage here, so...'

"You should have called earlier."

"Sorry I didn't return your calls of earlier today."

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'Forget the water, give me some golf clubs. I haven't swung a club in days.'

"It's a new app that warns me of anything that has pumpkin spice in it."

'I like to take one day at a time.' - 'Trouble is you're three weeks behind.'

'It's thundering, dad. Can I get under the bed with you?'

'OK, so I have a thing about thunder!'

'Bless this spinach, albeit the work of the devil.'

"Maybe we should reschedule. It's bark-to-bark up here and Waze says it's forty minutes to the lazy river."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

'He doesn't like getting his hair wet.'