Winter Avoider Pillows

'No, it's true, I've never seen snow... I always seem to end up going South for winter...'

'Any place that doesn't have snow.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

Good News about winter

"With the current state of the world, it's heartwarming to see kids having good old-fashioned, innocent fun in the snow."

Inappropriate Snowmen

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Snowyphus

'Mom, what setting do you use for warming up slippers?'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

Midwest Winter Items.

'Being angry about shovelling snow will only make it harder for you, daddy...you need to just accept the snow...instead of thinking of it as a chore, you hate, make friends with it.'

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

'I got a good place in my exams today. Right next to the radiator.'

'Don't you like it, Dad?'

Man standing in front of giant snowball

"On the bright side, Dear, your jump looked great right up until the landing!"

"Slippery, huh?"

"The kids are growing up so fast."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'Why should I go outside...when I can build a animated snowman here.'

'It's okay, Mom. I won't need an extra blanket tonight.'

'No, I'm not running rabbits past your snow fort!'

"Cool bonfire app, man."

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

"It's her first snowman."

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

'My mom got it on. She said you'd get it off.'

Death skis towards a man fishing on cracking ice