Winning A Nobel Prize Pillows

'Oooh watch your step, that's my Nobel Prize. I wonder how it got down there, crazy Nobel Prize.... Nobel Prize.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Award Winning Gardener

"So that's where you were last night."

"Eureka! Details to follow."

Soccer coach of the year.

'Don't call the Nobel Committee just yet: We forgot to calibrate the instruments before the experiment...'

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Zdeno Chara

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

Employee of the month...

"I'd like to thank my mum..."

'I think it's really tacky to make the salesperson of the month someone from another firm.'

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

"If it weren't for the Botox, right now I'd be so sharing your enthusiasm."

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

Once again, Daisy had won the 'Employee of the Month' award...'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

Zinzhoff wins Nobel Prize/Creates life in test tube/Or was it in there when he started?

Ivan Bunin

Physicist in restaurant.

'-and thanks for this splendid award...'

'...and I share my prize with the maintenance dept. who have worked tirelessly to keep the clean room perfectly immaculate.'

Smiley Victory Fingers

Handing over money.

"He wins every year -- the man could sell an annuity to a mayfly."