Winemaking T-Shirts

"I still enjoy running my winery, but these days my real passion is the meth lab."

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'I'm hoping one day I'll be discovered by the director of Riverdance.'

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

"There, there, it's not so bad - we did introduce the grapevine to your country."

'... And this is my cellar.'

On Champagne: 'Nobody knows the bubbles I've seen.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

Please do not pet the grapes.

'Have you ever crushed grapes, Mr Bigfoot?'

'How do I know we need to turn down the filtration system? - This is our cabernet sauvignon.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"You could be just the man we're looking for!"

"That's not our logo. That's the company's flowchart."

'Who's the new guy?'

'Why pick and then press, Dad? I'm saving money by having a steamroller drive through the vineyard.'

'Talk about wild yeast!'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'I made the mistake of redoing the house in Limousin oak, right before Jack decided to start barrel aging his merlot.'

'And this is wood, for the fire...and for artificially flavoring my homemade Chardonnary.'

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

'Dad, the wine's been put into used barrels, just like you ordered. I got a great deal on them from Exxon.'

'Okay, so we had a rainy spring. If we can't make these grapes into wine, maybe we can sell them as water balloons.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, I haven't gotten around to crushing the grapes, but I think have them pretty well intimidated.'

'How impressive! I had no idea they awarded a Nobel Prize for home winemaking.'

'Higgins, gardening is pretty simple. The roses love champagne, the rhododendrons prefer gin tonic, the birch trees are crazy for single malt and the lawn could kill for a good chardonnay.'

"If we poured the millions of dollars we spend on advertising into improving our vineyard, we wouldn't have to advertise."

"When can you start?"

Vineyard Portrait

"Wow, a full vat of grapes in 32 seconds! You're hired!"

Press Freedom