Wine Wordsmith Pillows

'...it's a spirited, yet lightly delicate little stock that shows signs of aging into exquisite maturity...'

'A little flinty with a blackcurrent boguet, medium tannin, a slight hint of the sea, with merlot overtones and an after taste that becomes okaey with a hint of liquorice...'

"The house of Chardonnay, sir - it's a young wine and a bit fruit forward."

“This particular variety was incredibly full-bodied.”

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

I think you're ace

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

Best Seller

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

Intellectual Foreplay...

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

'He never listened to his mother!'

A Poet

'You use the former when wooing your beloved and the latter during negotiations with your divorce lawyers.'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

You trip on it, you buy it.

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

Sharp Eyes

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

"He has to put a fiver in every time he says 'fiscal imperative' or 'target orientated processes'"

Bagel problems.

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'