Wine Wonderer Pillows

'The brochure says their wines are distinctive. I think I know why.'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'A cheeky red?'

Bacchus.

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."