Wine Tasting Party Gifts

"Pretty label... shiny bottle... I'll take it!"

Wine taster getting drunk

'Would you like to try some of our home-made?'

'It's just Frank's ghost returning for a bottle of wine. It doesn't tend to keep well, where he ended up.'

'Ordinarily, that wouldn't bother me, except Doc did the same blindfold trick last week, when he did my colonoscopy.'

Wine: New & Old!!!

"Hard to believe this actually started as a vertical tasting."

The wine was fruity and quite lively.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Sloaney Pony.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Wine Lady

Yoga for Alcoholics

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Sauvignon Bonk

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Bubbly

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"