Wine Shop Owner Pillows

'Ahh, the '74 Amarone. Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you. There's no possible way you'd appreciate it.'

'I've tried it - it's a 94.3829366, at best.'

"This little beauty pairs well with panic-attacks and other anxiety-related disorders associated with 2020."

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Wine and Spirits/Wine and Spirit

"Careful, their salesmen are the best - one just sold me an empty bottle."

"I want a wine that's wise but unassuming, and not ashamed of a screw on cap."

"Foreign wines have ruined me for domestics. I still shop local, but I gripe global."

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

"The champagne aisle always makes me cry. Just look at all this imprisoned happiness!"

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"Do you have a nice Beaujolais that goes well with a mama’s boy?"

'These are by my doctor. If my pharmacist can't read his prescriptions, how can I expect to read his tasting notes?'

Wine: New & Old!!!

'How is this pronounced? Seven dollars and ninety-nine cents.'

'All your wines are so old. Don't you have any that are fresh?'

Wine: harsh, boring, pretentious, shallow and mischievous.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"I make it myself!"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

Sale.