Wine Party Host Gifts

"Fred read red wine has lots of benefits including a longer life!"

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Wine Lady

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Rump roast?"

Join me in a Martini?

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Again, are you sure I didn't mention about bringing your own 3-D glasses?"

Party time.

"Gesundheit!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Barbecue

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

'I said, I don't know about you, but I'm a bit disappointed in the strolling musician.'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

Mini Bar

"A little lamb please."

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

A very fine vintage

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'