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Wine Talking

"Well, I always find the cheapest French, Greek and Italian wines for binge drinking."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'A cheeky red?'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Bacchus.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Sauvignon Bonk

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."