Wine Diyer T-Shirts

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

The Vineyard

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

Wine Lady

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

French wine

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"I make it myself!"

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Things I've learned...

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

A couple sit in front of their RV drinking wine while looking at birds sitting in front of a a small RV in a tree also drink wine.

"I only need shade for my wine."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

How to correctly estimate cooking time

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'