Wine Buying T-Shirts

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

In the Guru District

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'A cheeky red?'

Selling lemon latt�

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

Wine Lady

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Bacchus.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Sauvignon Bonk

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.