Wine-and-dine Wit T-Shirts

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

"Will you be ordering A La Carte, or heading straight over to the trough?"

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"May I see some ID, Madame? Haha, just kidding!"

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

Two men toasting

"What would you serve with toast?"

"We'll get your food going as soon as the exterminators are done in the kitchen."

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

Bishop reads menu which features only loaves, fishes, water and wine.

'Enjoy your meal, sir, but remember -- no kinky stuff!'

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

Dogs with alcohol collars.

'I'm not putting it out. There's enough oak in this Chardonnay to keep this fire going all night.'

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

'I noticed your wine list only has reds and whites. Don't you have any yellow wines?'

"Red wine with fish? Do you take me as some kind of a monster?!"

"At our age I figure we only have two taste buds left. One for vodka and one for wine."

"Would sir like to try the wine. . . ?"