Wine And Dine Aficionado Gifts

'I wouldn't dillydally over dinner. ... We're looking for a rate hike on the veal,'

Still the Same

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

Residential Area Please Leave Our Supermarket Quietly

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sauvignon Bonk

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"I make it myself!"

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"