Wine And Cheese Night Gifts

"Regular angst isn't a problem. It's the post-modern existential angst that gets to me."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'Okay, that's 4 for the Malbec, 3 for the Chianti and 2 for the Merlot. You want to go with that, or wait for the write-in votes?'

'This Chardonnay is so over-oaked, it comes with a 2-year service contract from Terminix.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"Barry made the wine. I made the cheese."

"Relax, the vicar's surrounded the place with mouse traps."

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"Remember what we learned in wine country, dear."

Two men toasting

"Apparently, there is a difference between red wine and red wine vinegar."

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

'You said bring something blue-veined to go with vintage port.'

"I find a good cabernet is the best way to put my money where my mouth is."

"Oh, she just wants attention or needs help."

"The fifth wine has bright apple and pear notes, with just the barest hint of a blinding headache."

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

Dogs with alcohol collars.

'Enjoy your meal, sir, but remember -- no kinky stuff!'

'I'm not putting it out. There's enough oak in this Chardonnay to keep this fire going all night.'

"Well, they do say wine is a conversation starter."

"Fred read red wine has lots of benefits including a longer life!"

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal some crackers and some grapes too...

"I'm too old to go Dutch."

'Believe me, nobody ever confuses their wine glass with mine.'

'Yeah, it's wine, and it's also why there's a 50-year waiting list to coach football in Napa Valley.'

"The chef would like to thank you for filling in the questionnaire and after watching you on our CCTV, he has these comments for you: You all chose the wrong wine and cutlery with your food and...'"

'He'll want you to try the Winelich maneuver first, instead of the Heimlich -- it brings up the food, but leaves the wine.'

'Our days of wine and roses are over, Ethel. We're going to have to settle for champagne and tulips.'

'The next time you feel like drinking champagne from your slipper, don't wear open toe shoes.'

Hey Gus, I've managed to steal crackers and grapes too...

"Grab a couple glasses - the car passed smog!"