Wills And Estates Gifts

"I want to leave everything to my cat."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

Graph Your Relatives!

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'It states in his will that if he becomes brain dead he wants to go unplugged.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

Contest of wills.

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

"Apparently the will was typed up wrong and UCLA got all your husband's money...and you get his brain!"

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"These are all my financial papers - with the exception of the codes to my secret Swiss bank accounts, of course."

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

"I love my George. He has a will of his own, and it's made out in my favour."

"This oughtta be good...my lawyer is about to read my Will. I left everything to my cat Binky!"

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

"I, Arthur, being of sound mind, have spent it all on wine, women and song."

"When you reach your expiration date, would you like to be crushed or recycled?"

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

'One day, after they unfreeze my DNA, this will all be mine again.'

"Smoke, drink and womanize as much as you like but don't forget to update your will..."

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

'My cat died this morning. This is a legal nightmare. There are nine wills.' color

'For those with particularly ungrateful children,the inheritance tax can be a comfort.'

'Your Great Uncle has left you all his money in this family heirloom!'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

"I stopped believing in free will when I had my lawyer write mine."