Will Execution Pillows

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

"We have a favor to ask."

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"He intends to die with dignity, he desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

William Tell Executions.

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'My cat died this morning. This is a legal nightmare. There are nine wills.' color

'...and to you, he has left his leprosy.'

"Look, you took a huge fashion risk and it just didn't work out for you."

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

'I had hoped for some great farewell jokes!'

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

'Governor's Pardon is on the way, Bob. Hang in there.'

'We're going to have to cut back a little this year ....'

Bureaucratic speech

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"