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'And to my brother, all my spare brushes, for getting between gaps in teeth.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Southwark Fair.

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

The First Printed Bible

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Ye Old Cafe: No Coffee Today - Sore Arm!

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

At last, Clarence thought, the long-awaited return to the old economy had begun.

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

"There's no money in your uncle's will. You are, however, directed to maintain his 5 cats and Facebook account."

"We're a family here and you'll be like a son to me - illegitimate, of course."

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

It feels so weird when I forget my watch.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."