Letter Collector T-Shirts

"I always thought the IRS wrote you first!"

'Man i'm getting FED UP with all this junk male!!'

'Just because!'

Junk Mail Only.

Monster in shape of letter C.

"I learned my letters from eating alphabet soup."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Nuts to you, too."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

Santa called but you were out!

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

The birth of junk mail.

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"I won the spelling bee because Eddie Scott invented three letters."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

'Sorry.. I don't date lower-case types.'

Writer breaks in new electric typewriter.

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"I wonder what this was for."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

Literary rain

'Here's the junk mail.'