Wildlife Writer T-Shirts

Anteater with INOUT boxes.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"The raw material was all around me: That's how I got started as a sculptor..."

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

Civilized Salmon

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

Caliologist

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

'Still no sign of life.'

"I'm not trying to be cool, I'm just making sure the crocodile hunters won't see my eyes reflected in their searchlight..."

'You got twenty years for hunting without a license? Kind of stiff, isn't it?'

"Hey, Doris. I'm learning some interesting things about animals from my trail camera! For instance, I never knew that bears were capable of making obscene paw gestures!"

'Fancy a swift half?'

"But what's my motivation?"

'Researching the opossum article.'

'Confounded biodiversity.'

Man feeding the birds at the park is eaten alive.

"Killer? Is that what they call us? Eh don't say killer tiger or killer charm or killer wolf."

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

The hummingbird's hum.

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Sportscasters on the Savannah

Vulture declines fresh food.

"What? You mean this old thing?"

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'