Wilderness Chef T-Shirts

"Lori, out here it's my kitchen!"

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Sausages.

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Aprons

Ode to a Grill

Holiday Supplies

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"You like yours well done, right?"

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"Over millions of years, carbon turns to diamond. Yet it took dad plus his grill mere minutes to turn last night's marinated chicken into that carbon."

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

You'll be the centre of attention for a job well done!

"I said, 'Fetch Chardonnay,' not 'Riesling.'"

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"