Wild West Wanderers Pillows

'Yes, I got a lot out of your assertiveness training course and I would definitely recommend it to anyone.'

This town ain't big enough for the one million, five hundred and thirty two thousand of us.

'Howdy - I'm Hopalong Incapassidy.'

'Do you remember where we parked at?'

'I'd like a word with you about your 'faithful' Indian companion!'

The Old Woman Who Lived in the Ranch. . .

Woman ties her husband up with the horses outside a saloon.

"Ahhh... close enough."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'Not that net!'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Support Group for a Good Problem

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Sausages.

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

Toivola Jones and the Search For Spring.

Sport Utility Boot.

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

High Riders of the Old West

Fred's Canadian caribou hunt goes from bad to worse.

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"You were the one who thought it was too dangerous to raise a child in the big city."

'Have you been waiting long?'

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."