White-hat Hacker Pillows

'Sergeant, there's someone here who says he's holding your access codes for ransom.'

Moses on the web

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Weird things I do because of the internet

'The grudge match.'

'Having algorithm and having rhythm are 2 different things.'

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"A hacker logged into my fitness tracker and stole all my steps."

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

Golfing with God.

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"We're very proud. His classmates voted most to hack into a foreign computer system."

"We know you have better treats than raisins...we hacked your supermarket loyalty card."

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

The Darknet starts right here.

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

Golf Hil Divot

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

"This is a special place we have for phishing scammers!"

Secrets of Adulthood.

'Cyber mining for bitcoins again?'

"It was just a near-death experience, but while you're here, would you help me with this computer?"

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

'We had a power surge, and the electronic scoreboard seems to have tapped into the CIA's computer.'

"This one is for hacking into our enemy's hacks."

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

The Big Bad Wolf

Burglar mutters about the lack of personal integrity.