White Collar Satire Lover Pillows

Accountant beneath picture of three wise monkeys.

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"It lost a little something in translation."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

Miniature Design Shop: Think Small.

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'I treat everyone here the same as my family. . . like s**t.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

Subordinate Employee

'Enter His Royal Globalness...'

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

"White Collar Prison"

"There are two ways we can go here - bark or bite."

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

'That was when I closed five distribution centres, mothballed a factory and sacked 3,000 workers.'

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

'Look, I said I'd bring you the report on micromanaging. Just give me a chance.'