White Christmas T-Shirts

'Global warming? let me know when it kicks in.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"Young Frankenstein"

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

Tartine

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

Robot Parts $5

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Come dine with me!

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."