First Christmas T-Shirts

Mom - There's Nothing To Do.

Christmas Eve Night

'And that,and that,and that...'

"Waiting here for Santa Claus is getting us nowhere. I say we forget about the tree, go outside and just have fun."

Children's Dreams on Christmas Eve

'A Very Bad Boy'

Santa Claus with Baby

If You See Something You Want, Whine!

'Please tell me it shoots laser beams out of its eyes.'

'It looks like the baby has reached critical Christmas mass.'

Three wise men paying by credit card.

'Let's see what Santa has in his sack for a little boy or girl...'

"I've been good this year, so I don't think I'll be getting and 'It's the thought that counts' gifts."

"This'll be our first Christmas together."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Bitchbark Canoe

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Young Frankenstein"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Tartine

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.