Whiskey Distiller Pillows

'It's a shame that valuable water gets wasted to wash cars or to take showers. It should be used responsible and for useful purposes only - for example to make whiskey.'

A Good Batch.

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Join me in a Martini?

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Bernstein's got himself a driverless club

Trump Poutine

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

God taking iceburgs with ice tongs for his whisky.

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Bottle Distillery

"I believe you'll like our company. We pay our employees time and a fifth."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

CASA DE JOY PREMIUM TEQUILA STONE BISSETT DISTILLERY CONT. NET.1000 ML 40% ALC Vol.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

Whiskey wars

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

Which Hogwarts house are you?

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

Gentleman's Club Scene

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"Is that neat whisky?"

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

The Angel's Share

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

'Says here, a disgruntled employee brought a gun into the liquor distillery today...to the gills!'

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

Scotch and soda on a drip.