Whip Wielder Gifts

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"River well stocked this year."

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

"She got a brand new whip for her birthday."

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

Cowboy Trump

Football Blockers.

Shepherd

House Plant Party

Referee

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Ask me about my uppercut.

Sculpting

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'He was a darn fine mechanic.'

'If you were a carp where would you go?'

Caution Falling Rocks

"It's worse than I thought."

"He was right. . . He really did have a novel in him."

Bubba gets Carpal Funnel Syndrome.

Poet

"Holding superstar quarterback accountable—token penalty after the kickoff."

'You've take up the violin at 76? Must be hell for those living at 74 and 78...'

'They say that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste!'

"They're in a statistical dead heat."

"I got it from the phys ed teacher. It's a wonderful teaching tool."

'Nothing worse than a fussy ref!' (Football referee matching cards with colour chart).

John Henry

'What'yo mean, you refuse to take a hike?'

"Kkerching."